After giving birth to little Kovah Willow in January - through an emergency c section, weighing a tiny 4lbs 9ozs and 5 weeks early... blogger, Crystal Lily didn’t have the easiest start as a mother! Now, 4 months on she shares with us her the first hurdles she had to overcome on her journey as a first-time mum.

First Night At Home

That moment you’ve been waiting 9 long months for, the moment you bring your baby home. But for me this suddenly became terrifying. After 8 never ending days in NICU I could finally bring my darling daughter home and I was a muddle of emotions. I was terrified I’d do something wrong, and even more scared of her sleeping without buzzers or nurses checking she was ok, it was all down to me now. Yes, that first night was so scary, I didn’t sleep, I genuinely sat and stared at her all night. If she made a noise I’d shoot out of bed, if she didn’t make noises I’d poke her to make sure she was still breathing. I even found myself with my whole head in her bassinet a few times to listen to her breathing. This probably will happen to all of you, but you’ll be pleased to know it gets a lot easier. You learn to trust your instincts and get into your baby’s routine. I promise it’s something you shouldn’t stress too much over.


This gets forced onto you as soon as you say you’re pregnant. “Will you breastfeed?”, “You should read up on breastfeeding, it’s what’s best” blah blah blah. Yes, breastfeeding is best for your baby for multiple reasons, which benefit you both. But, you do not need to punish yourself if it won’t work for you. Some lucky Mamas breastfeed straight away and it works perfectly, however, for some of us, it takes a lot of hard work, tears and sleepless nights. I was lucky enough to be able to breastfeed for nearly 3 months, but due to my severe preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome, I was pumped full of medication that resulted in my milk supply drying up very quickly. For the whole time on my breastfeeding journey, I was combi-feeding with formula and I am now - my daughter is fully formula fed. She’s a very healthy 3 and a half-month-old who went from the 9th centile to the 50th in this time. The formula isn’t poisoning your child, it’s not to be shamed on, just remember FED is best. Give yourself some love and support, you’ve just bought a baby into this world and at the end of the day, a happy Mama means a happy baby. I truly believe in this.

Going Out On My Own

This was honestly a massive shock to me. When I was pregnant I daydreamed about taking my baby girl out for walks, showing her places, just being together in the fresh air as I love being outside. This was not what happened and I don’t know if every new mum goes through this, but I really struggled. I had the worst anxiety attacks over going out without my partner, the world suddenly felt so big and my 4lbs 2oz baby seemed extra small. I was so worried about being on my own and something happening, her getting too cold, what if she was screaming and I couldn’t stop her, what if I felt funny and still poorly after my c-section, what if I fainted as I was still healing? I didn’t leave the house without someone for nearly 2 months, but once we did it really wasn’t that bad at all. She loves her pram and the fresh air is great for babies it really knocks them out. My advice to you if you feel how I did, is just go out in the garden first, then to the end of the road and take longer walks every time and then all that anxiety will drop away.

Everyone is different, everyone has different babies but we are all Mamas. Remember every day is a new day and just remember to take a deep breath and smile that you have such a wonderful little blessing in your life now!